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Writer's pictureEleanor Pickett

Achieving Harmony: The Art of Balancing Self-Discipline and Self-Compassion in Edinburgh

Updated: Sep 8, 2023

Balancing self-discipline and self-compassion is like walking a tightrope between two mountains. On one side is the mountain of self-discipline, which represents the drive and determination to stick to your goals and hold yourself accountable. On the other side is the mountain of self-compassion, which represents the ability to be kind and forgiving to yourself when things don't go as planned.


As you walk this tightrope, you must keep your focus on the path ahead and maintain your balance. If you lean too far towards the mountain of self-discipline, you risk becoming too rigid and unforgiving with yourself, which can lead to burnout and negative self-talk. If you lean too far towards the mountain of self-compassion, you risk becoming too lenient and losing sight of your goals altogether.


But if you find the right balance between these two mountains, you can navigate your way to success with grace and ease. You'll be able to stay focused on your goals while also being kind and understanding with yourself along the way, which will help you stay motivated and resilient in the face of challenges.



Self-discipline and self-compassion are two essential aspects of personal growth and development. Balancing these two qualities can be challenging, but it is crucial for achieving long-term success and happiness. Here are some tips on how to balance self-discipline and self-compassion:


Set realistic goals


Self-discipline involves having the ability to control one's behaviour and actions to achieve a desired outcome. One of the key elements of self-discipline is setting achievable goals that are realistic and measurable. This means that the goals you set for yourself should be attainable within a reasonable timeframe and measurable so that you can track your progress towards achieving them.


However, when you set too difficult or unrealistic goals, you are setting yourself up for failure. This is because when you fail to achieve these goals, you may feel frustrated and disappointed and may even criticise yourself for not being able to succeed. This can lead to a decrease in self-confidence and motivation, which can, in turn, make it even harder to achieve your goals in the future.


On the other hand, self-compassion is about being kind and understanding towards yourself. Setting realistic goals allows you to celebrate your progress and achievements rather than focusing on what you haven't yet accomplished. By acknowledging the effort you have put in and the progress you have made, you can feel more motivated and encouraged to continue working towards your goals.


Self-discipline and self-compassion go hand in hand when it comes to achieving your goals. While it's essential to set goals that are challenging and stretch you outside of your comfort zone, it's equally important to set goals that are attainable and measurable. And when you do encounter setbacks or difficulties, remember to be kind to yourself and celebrate your progress along the way.


Be consistent but flexible


Self-discipline is the ability to control one's impulses, emotions and behaviours to achieve a desired outcome. It requires a consistent and committed effort to establish routines and habits that support your goals. This means prioritising your time, setting realistic expectations, and sticking to your plan even when it becomes challenging. For example, suppose your goal is to exercise regularly. In that case, you may need to wake up early, plan your workouts in advance, and resist the temptation to skip them.


However, even with the best intentions, life can throw unexpected obstacles in your path. In these situations, it's essential to be flexible and adaptable. This means being willing to adjust your routines or goals when necessary without losing sight of your ultimate objective. For example, if you get injured and can't exercise for a while, you may need to adjust your routine and find alternative activities that still support your overall health and fitness goals.


By establishing consistent routines and habits, while also being flexible and kind to yourself when things don't go as planned, you can achieve your goals and maintain a positive outlook on life.


Practice self-awareness


Self-awareness is a vital aspect of personal growth and development, and it plays a crucial role in finding the right balance between self-discipline and self-compassion. Being self-aware means being conscious of your thoughts, emotions and behaviours in real time. When you know these aspects of yourself, you can adjust them as needed to achieve your goals and improve your overall well-being.


At times, individuals can be too hard on themselves, which can lead to self-criticism, self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy. When you notice you're being too hard on yourself, take a step back and practice self-compassion. Show yourself kindness, understanding and forgiveness. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and it's okay to do so. Try to be your own best friend, and treat yourself the way you would treat a loved one.


On the other hand, being too lenient with yourself can lead to procrastination, lack of motivation and a lack of accountability. When you notice that you're being too lenient, remind yourself of your goals and commit to action. Challenge yourself to be more disciplined and accountable. Set achievable goals and make a plan to achieve them. Remember, discipline is not about punishment but about creating positive habits that help you achieve your goals and live a happier life.


Cultivate a growth mindset


A growth mindset involves a strong connection between self-discipline, self-compassion and the belief that your abilities and talents can improve with effort and perseverance. On the other hand, a fixed mindset assumes that your characteristics and abilities are unchangeable. By embracing a growth mindset, you will be more inclined to approach challenges proactively, seeking out opportunities to learn and grow instead of being discouraged by setbacks.


Self-discipline involves setting clear goals and working consistently towards achieving them. When you have self-discipline, you are willing to put in the effort required to reach your goals, even when it might be difficult or inconvenient. A growth mindset helps you to maintain self-discipline by encouraging you to focus on progress rather than perfection. This means recognising that mistakes are a natural part of the learning process and using them as opportunities to improve.


A growth mindset also helps you to cultivate self-compassion by encouraging you to see unavoidable setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow rather than as indications of personal failure. This means being gentle with yourself and recognising that everyone faces challenges and makes mistakes.


When you have a growth mindset, you can approach challenges with curiosity and excitement. Instead of being discouraged by difficulties, you are motivated to seek solutions and learn from your experiences. This positive outlook helps maintain self-discipline by keeping you focused on your goals and progress.


Balancing self-discipline and self-compassion is a journey, not a destination. Walking the tightrope between the mountains of self-discipline and self-compassion is a delicate balancing act that requires practice, patience and self-awareness. But with each step, you'll gain a deeper understanding of your own limits and strengths and learn to navigate life's ups and downs with greater ease and resilience. By staying true to your goals and values and being kind and understanding when you go off track, you can create a powerful sense of balance in your life that will help you achieve your dreams and live with greater purpose and fulfilment. By taking that first step onto the tightrope, with practice and perseverance, you can find the balance that's right for you.

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