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Writer's pictureEleanor Pickett

Expectations vs. Reality: The Truth About What Happens in the Counselling Room

Updated: Mar 24, 2023

As we journey through life, we all experience different challenges and struggles that can leave us feeling lost, confused, and overwhelmed. Seeking help from a counsellor or therapist can often be a step towards finding clarity and healing, but what happens when our expectations of therapy don't match the reality of the experience? In this blog, we'll explore people's common expectations when entering treatment and how they may differ from what actually happens in the counselling process. Let's dive in and uncover the truth behind expectations versus reality in the world of counselling.

In your counselling journey, you can expect to have a safe and supportive space to explore your thoughts and feelings with a trained professional. Your counsellor will listen to you with empathy and without judgment, helping you to gain clarity and perspective on your situation. Together, you will work towards identifying your goals and creating a plan for achieving them. Depending on your specific needs and preferences, your counsellor may use a variety of techniques and approaches, such as cognitive-behavioural therapy, mindfulness, or solution-focused therapy. Throughout the process, your counsellor will collaborate with you to ensure that you feel heard, understood, and empowered to make positive changes in your life.


Whether you've already experienced counselling or you're considering it for the first time, it can be helpful to understand what to expect when you step into that room.


Expectation: I'll have to talk about all my deepest, darkest secrets.

Reality: You don't have to reveal anything you don't want to. You can build trust with your counsellor and share at your own pace. Your counsellor will create a safe and non-judgmental space for you to share, but you are in control of what you choose to reveal.


Expectation: The therapist will tell me what to do.

Reality: The therapist will help you explore your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours in order to gain insight into yourself and your situation. In Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), it is normal for the therapist to provide tools and education tailored to your needs. However, ultimately it is up to you to make decisions about your life.


Expectation: The therapist will fix my problems.

Reality: The therapist cannot fix your problems, but they can provide you with tools and support to help you work through them. It's important to understand that change takes time and effort, and the therapist is there to guide and support you through the process.


Expectation: The therapist will judge me.

Reality: The therapist is there to create a safe and non-judgmental space for you to explore your thoughts and feelings. They are trained to be empathetic, understanding and non-judgmental.


Expectation: I will feel better after the session.

Reality: It's possible that you may feel some relief after the session, but it's also possible that you may feel uncomfortable or even worse. This rollercoaster effect is a normal part of the process and does not mean counselling is not working. It's essential to trust the process and continue to work through your issues with your therapist.


Expectation: The therapist will keep everything confidential.

Reality: Therapists are bound by ethical and legal obligations to keep your information confidential, except in certain circumstances (such as if you disclose that you are a danger to yourself or others). It's important to discuss any concerns you have about confidentiality with your therapist.


Expectation: Counselling is only for people with serious mental health issues.

Reality: Counselling is for everyone who wants to improve their mental health and well-being. You don't have to have a diagnosed mental illness to benefit from counselling. It can help with stress management, relationship issues, life transitions and much more.


In conclusion, the expectations versus realities in counselling can be vastly different for each individual. It is important to approach counselling with an open mind and realistic expectations. While counselling can be a powerful tool for personal growth and healing, it is not a magic cure-all solution. It requires commitment, effort and a willingness to confront uncomfortable emotions and situations. The relationship between the client and counsellor also plays a critical role in the success of counselling. By setting realistic expectations and being open to the process, individuals can experience the benefits of counselling and achieve their desired outcomes.


EJP Therapy provides cognitive behavioural therapy in Edinburgh and online UK-wide. If you would like more information about my services please visit my homepage.


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